Single Parents Share Their Stories

My Journey into the Single Parent Community

When I separated, friends who were part of our couple disappeared quietly, like water flowing away when you open the tap. I found myself alone without even realizing it. I was too focused on holding the family together, taking care of the children, the pets, working, and pretending I wasn't feeling terrible. At school, I noticed other mothers saying things like, 'Poor thing, she just separated.' Some braver ones would venture to ask how I was, but as we tend to do in these situations, I'd reply 'Fine,' thank them, and offer a polite smile. What I really wanted to do was grab that brave person and ask, 'Do you really want to know how I am? Let's grab a coffee after I drop the kids at school, and I'll tell you exactly how I feel.' I'd then explain that the only adults I spoke to most days shared my surname or had a blood connection, and that any occasion was an opportunity for comments like: 'I never liked your ex,' 'I don't understand how you stayed with someone like that for so many years,' 'Well, let's just hope he behaves well as a father even after the separation.' Judgments, constant judgments about me, about us, and about whether we managed to avoid making the children suffer. It's not easy, not easy at all! Then, a newspaper article left open in a cafe I'd never been to caught my attention: there's a social network for single parents, a place where we are all equal, all have the same needs. I drank my coffee cold that day, too engrossed in reading the article's details. I signed up for the site as soon as I got to the office, secretly, with anxiety and hope – hope that it wasn't another dating site. I need to talk to an adult who doesn't judge me, who doesn't need to ask 'How are you?' with a pitiful expression. I want to feel reborn, to experience lightness and fun. That was about 8 months ago. Now I have about thirty new friends, and not on Facebook – real friends. People who answer when I call, people I see almost every week with my children, real people who know how to comfort me when I'm feeling down, without pitying or lamenting me! GenGle has allowed me to understand more than ever that to understand someone, you must walk in their shoes. They all walked in mine, and I in theirs. I have an extended family, I am happy, and my children are happy too. Who would have thought a coffee could change my life?